Window on Main Street: Yes, Santa could transition, but why?

He artfully skirted the logistical questions about how Santa Claus managed to visit every child on Earth in the span of a single night and how he fit through the chimney without anyone seeing him.

Here is part of Mr. Church’s answer.

“You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.”

The answer was satisfactory to young Virginia, who, as an adult, would say that Mr. Church’s message of faith and trust would guide her life always in a positive way.

Virginia’s question was and is not unique. Sadly, the aging process has a way of stealing our innocence and replacing it with suspicion and cynicism.

Which brings us to the present.

Recently, folks down at the Times were discussing Santa Claus and why he has to look a certain way – a rotund, old, big-bearded white guy in a red suit. In the interests of diversity and inclusion, why couldn’t Santa just as easily be thin, young, female, non-white and LGBQT?

It must have been a slow news week. For my young colleagues’ faith and trust was not quite enough. The short answer is, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” a cliché but the wisest one I know. I was not there to hear the conversation firsthand, so I apologize in advance if I misinterpreted the conversation.

To entertain the idea that Santa Claus must reflect every facet of human society would be impossible even with gobs of Mr. Church’s faith and trust. Remember, we still can’t agree on whether to greet the season with a joyous “Merry Christmas” or the ecumenical “Happy Holidays.”

It’s like this – Santa Claus is limited to his unique physical image, because tradition demands it, and tradition always trumps political correctness, at least in my book.

Changing the image of beloved Santa Claus is like suggesting whiskers be added to the Mona Lisa so men can better relate to the masterwork. Or that an egret is a better Easter symbol than a rabbit. Or we should honor King George on July 4 as not to offend our British allies. Where will it end?

And who would be in charge of refashioning conglomerate Santa? Then the problem lies in convincing everyone else to accept your version.

All of that said, Santa has changed in appearance over the years. He already comes in all colors and sizes, there are female Santas too, and they aren’t Mrs. Claus. Jews have Hannukah Charlie for their holiday that always coincides with Christmas/holiday season.

There’s more. Along with the Michelin Man, the Pillsbury Dough Boy and Aunt Jemimah, Santa has dropped some weight in recent years, perhaps in response to pressure from the thin-and-fit lobby, medical community and diabetes-research organizations.

Imagining a thinner Santa was easy, but creating a new all-things-to-all-people Santa Claus seems to be an impossible task. The question remains, if it was possible to create a new image for the old guy, would the vision of Conglomerate Santa scare the kids?