I’m pretty sure some of you sophisticates know what a “breakfast pillow” is and what role it plays toward the greater good of society. I sure don’t.

I came across the term during a bout of online shopping, and since we here at Window Central are pledged to be up on all the trends, I thought I had better check it out. I asked my very erudite staffers to enlighten me.

Imagine my surprise when no one had a clue and office dog “Mullion” just shrugged and went back to sleep.

I really should have been shocked at the staff’s lack of knowledge on the subject. They don’t get out a lot with all the fan mail to answer. But there was general agreement that whatever a breakfast pillow might be, not to spread jam on it.

So on our next stop in solving the mystery of the breakfast pillow, we approached the Gates of All Knowledge and asked the Wizard of Google. Here is what the authoritative one said:

“Breakfast pillows are decorative throw pillows that typically match the bedding set. Generally rectangular, these little pillows add fluff and character to your bedroom ensemble. These pillows tend to adorn beds in hotels to add a touch of elegance and color contrast to the room.”

Who knew?

The breakfast pillow is just one of the many things that are hip right now, and since we are a nation of the self-absorbed, they all seem to drift toward how we look and feel.

As an example, did you know there is an eye drop that is supposed to make your big browns or baby blues glisten? Why is this desirable? Shining eyes is not always a good thing.

When I see someone with glossy eyes I fear they are about to burst into tears and what to do if that happens. This is very awkward.

The next reaction is to check the person’s forehead for fever. Maybe the gleamy-eyed one is sick and possibly contagious or deranged, in which case it’s best to beat a hasty retreat lest there is a concealed weapon involved.

In either case, running from the room is not the desired effect of the product. Here is what the Wizard of Google had to say about it:

“First, stop smoking weed, then put a couple of drops of this little beauty in your peepers and you see how bright and sparkly your eyes become!They contain an ingredient which makes the whites of your eyes look even whiter and ideal for dazzling at parties.”

Question: What if there’s weed at the party?

Next is an example of “suffering for beauty.” It’s called “oil pulling,” and while the technique has been around for centuries, it is just now gaining momentum among U.S. trend setters desirous of whiter teeth and a toxin-free gut.

Here’s what to do. Grab a tablespoon of coconut oil and swish it around in your mouth for 20 minutes, about the time it takes to double in size. You read that right, and, yes, it’s gross.

This doubling phenomenon indicates the oil has “pulled” the bad stuff from your innards and deposited it in your saliva. Now spit, but not in the sink or any plumbing fixture in case the stuff hardens and plugs the pipes.

For obvious reasons, always oil pull on an empty stomach, and when you are finished, brush and floss as usual. You are now free of toxins, and your teeth will be whiter.

But, what does the Wizard of Google say about the practice? “Oil pulling is an alternative medical practice in which oil is swished around the mouth. There is no good evidence to support the claims made for the benefits of oil pulling.” 

You are welcome! We here at Window Central strive to keep you up to date on all the latest trends, what’s hip, what’s not and apologies for the stomach-turning part.

A veteran reporter and columnist, Barbara Christian has been covering Chagrin Falls since 1967 and is currently responsible for Chagrin Falls village events, government and school board news along with her weekly column "Window on Main Street."

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