Like so many of our traditions during this year of COVID-19, it has come to my attention the 2020 New Year’s Eve Popcorn Ball Drop has been canceled as well.

The deed was done in a meeting of the ball drop “Powers That Be”(AKA PTB), the precious few shakers and poppers who oversee the annual and much anticipated Chagrin Falls Triangle Park event.

If you will bear with me, I would like to publicly comment on their decision.

Are you guys nuts? What were you thinking? Cancel the 2020 popcorn ball drop? This year of all years?

If there was ever a year that needed a good celebratory boot out the door, it is 2020.

If there were ever a time that requires a red carpet welcoming 2021, with its promise of a vaccine that will gob smack this horrid plague in its tracks, it’s this year.

Yes, yes, yes! I know we are not supposed to gather and breath and cough on each other let alone kiss and smooch in the new year. We don’t have to.

Please, honorable PTB, hear me out on this. You can’t do this to us. We need a formal don’t-let-the-door-hit-you-on-the-way-out goodbye to the absolutely worst year ever in modern memory. To take it away would deprive us of catharsis.

Too dramatic? My apologies, but I cannot stress enough that there has to be some public way to erase this scourge of a year.

So sorry, it seems I have drifted off into Sarah Bernhardt land again.

We can still have the pop drop through the magic of the virtual experience and something called Zoom and, locally, through the good services of Jeff Holbury and his Drone Ohio operation which in past years has captured everything from the zaniness of the pumpkin roll on Grove Hill to the solemnity of the Memorial Day at Evergreen Hill Cemetery.

As a matter of record, Drone Ohio has recorded past Popcorn Ball Drop New Year’s Eve celebrations.

It can be done. Yes, PTB, we can still have the popcorn ball drop. It doesn’t need to be the biggest popcorn ball or the heaviest popcorn ball. As long as it exists in some form and is able to be dropped and destroyed at midnight.

Wait, what? Stop! I can’t print that. Never mind.

Last week’s “virtual” Santa’s cruise through town and Lighting of the Greens show proves, while we may need a good old-fashioned New Year’s Eve bash in downtown Chagrin Falls with all the glee we can muster, we are simply not emotionally ready for it or mature enough to handle the responsibility in a virtual way.

The tree lighting and Santa visit was much needed, too, but it ended up less virtual than it should have been for a lot of people. At least by the looks of the video we were watching. Let’s hope it wasn’t a super-spreader event.

We need to understand the value of following directions and the definition of the word “virtual” and the difference between exercising God-given freedom and running amok risking our lives and health and those of others, including kids. We’re not there yet.

Yes, the vaccine is proving successful in trials, but it is not here yet. It won’t be coursing through our veins for a while. So until then we have got to work on our self-control skills.

So, let’s think up some good ways to get rid of 2020 at home at midnight this Dec. 31. I suggest something involving your toilet. Something that won’t clog the pipes. You pay more for plumbers on the holidays.

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